Number 2: Don’t project rational motivations onto them.
Narcissists are driven by things like status, admiration, image, and control. So, if you’re in a co-parenting situation, they often care more about being seen as the better parent than about your child’s actual needs. When you’re interacting or negotiating with them, you need to be able to identify their sources of supply, what reputation and image they’re trying to uphold, what their specific agenda is, and then present incentives that align with their motivations.
Highlight how cooperation benefits them directly and enhances their image. Always frame your discussions and requests around their interests and their agenda. And also, remember narcissists need to feel like they’re in control. So, instead of directly asking for what you want, whenever possible, present them with options, giving the sense that they are calling the shots.
Now, you might want to consider downplaying your preferred option, making it seem like it’s their idea, subtly using reverse psychology to guide them towards your most desirable outcome. And yes, this strategy can be considered manipulative. It is not transparent, but there’s no malicious intent behind this strategy. The goal is to minimize conflict and come to mutually satisfying outcomes as efficiently as possible.
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