Number 5: Save your energy.
You only have so much energy to expend in a day, and you need to ask yourself what you’re getting out of engaging with a narcissist who is draining you. Take the time to honestly examine why they still matter, why they can still get a rise out of you, and why you’re still allowing them to sap your energy.
What are the payoffs? You’re the only one who can answer these questions honestly, and you’re the only one who has the power to kick them out of your headspace and close that energetic highway between you and them.
Number 6: Set boundaries and stick to them.
This might sound simple, but it’s not always black and white. In some situations, you might need to consider how being inflexible, even if you have very good reasons, would be perceived by the court or an employer. So, if you set boundaries, just know that a narcissist is highly likely going to try to breach those boundaries, usually in subtle ways and in ways that, when taken out of context, could make you look unreasonable, immature, and difficult.
So, you may find that it’s always a balancing act when you set and enforce boundaries. Try to frame it in a way that highlights the greater good. For example, if you’re co-parenting, you may refuse a scheduling switch, saying something like, “Our daughter needs a stable routine right?
I’m going to stick to the schedule.” Sometimes it might seem easier to give in to please and appease to avoid conflict, and I’m not saying that this is never an appropriate response, but do think twice about the precedent that you might be setting and the message it’s sending about your boundaries. Giving in now can reinforce the narcissist’s behavior and lead to more boundary breaches in the future.
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