They are projections. What they have been doing behind closed doors is exactly what they now fear you may be doing. And because they know how easy it is to manipulate others behind a locked door, they assume you are doing the same thing to them. You may not be texting anyone. You may be just breathing or scrolling for a moment of escape. Maybe you are even texting a friend who understands what you are going through. That’s not cheating, but they don’t see that.
They only see betrayal, a make-believe thing. They will accuse you, ask for your phone the moment you step out, and become visibly aggressive if they do not get access to your private conversations. Some will even hover outside the bathroom door, trying to listen. Others will install tracking apps or start fights just to create emotional chaos that throws you off balance. This is more than jealousy; it’s ownership. They do not want love; they want extreme control.
Reason 3: Feelings of Abandonment and Disrespect
Number three, they feel abandoned and disrespected. Narcissists do not have a stable self-identity, you know that. Their sense of self depends entirely on constant attention, validation, and the emotional labor of others, in this case, yours. To them, your bathroom break isn’t a natural, healthy part of life; it is abandonment. They feel rejected and disrespected. They feel left alone with their emptiness, and they can’t handle that.
They do not want a partner; they want a mother, someone who’s always available for that infant, who anticipates their needs, regulates their emotions, and never steps away, not even to pee. So, the moment you are out of sight, they spiral. They throw tantrums, they ask the same question again and again, they shut off the water supply to make a point, they bang on the door until you are forced to respond. And if you take too long, they rage.
The bathroom becomes the battlefield where their abandonment wound plays out at your expense. I’ve seen this firsthand. My father used to do it all the time. Every time I stepped into the bathroom, there would be a knock every single time. He would ask, “What is taking you so long?” or “What are you even doing in there?”
Not because he needed anything, but because he could not stand the idea of me having a moment he was not in control of. That’s how crazy it is. It wasn’t about time; it was about power, about reminding me that even behind closed doors, I was still his property.
Reason 4: Disrupting Spiritual Cleansing
This is the one no one talks about, but it’s the most important of all. You see, water holds sacred meaning across different cultures. Bathing is not just about hygiene; it’s symbolic. It represents renewal, release, and cleansing. Every time you take a shower or a bath, you are not just washing off dirt; you are shedding energy their energy. You’re washing away what isn’t yours.
You are resetting your field, and that is what narcissists fear the most. They do not just want your body; they want your energy, your attention, your exhaustion, and your confusion, because as long as you are spiritually polluted, they remain relevant.
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