3. Narcissists twist facts or reality.
Have you ever doubted your feelings or memory after talking to someone? One of the biggest clues that you’re dealing with a narcissist is when they start questioning your reality and perception. You might say, “I remember you said this,” and they’ll respond, “No, I never said that; you’re imagining things.” Suddenly, you’re second-guessing yourself, thinking maybe you got it wrong.
This mind-bending tactic is known as gaslighting, and it’s a favorite tool of narcissists. Dr. Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect, describes gaslighting as “the ultimate mind game.” Gaslighting is a sneaky way for narcissists to stay in control; they keep you off balance by brainwashing you. They enjoy messing with your sanity.
When a narcissist tries to gaslight you, the best thing you can do is stay calm and assertive. Don’t let them see you sweat. Politely but firmly stand your ground by saying, “I remember it differently,” or “I don’t agree with your version of events.” This helps you maintain your sense of reality and shows them that you’re not an easy target.
If narcissists continue to gaslight you, documenting your conversations can be a lifesaver. Write things down, save texts, and keep emails. This way, when they try to twist reality, you have proof to back up your memories. Remember, they thrive on creating doubt and chaos, so staying steady is critical.
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