Tactic 3: Self-sabotage
They set their own lives on fire. They have a way of ruining success simply so they can point a finger at you regarding your toxic impact.
This is the kamikaze stage of the defeated narcissist. “A narcissist, upon realizing that he can’t win, decides he’ll make sure that no one else will.” If they can’t have the life of their choice, “they will make sure that the life they’ll have will be reduced to rubble, and that rubble will serve as proof of your negativity.”
They will work to undermine their own career, health, and other relationships if it means that they can be the ultimate victim. They are setting fire to their own life because they want a new story to tell. They want the world to see the tragic figure that was broken by your toxicity.
They would rather be the failure who was wronged than the winner who must admit that they were the problem. This is hard-hearted revenge. They are gladly willing to suffer, to lose money, to lose status, so long as they can suffer in such a way that it becomes the instrument of your lifelong guilt.
They cannot abide your presence because your success and your integrity underscore their own corruption. With every success you make, you prove that the relationship was never the issue, but them. They get to choose to fail. They get to choose the wreckage. They will trash the house simply to complain about the smoke. They want the world to look at the smoldering wreckage and point the finger at you for striking the match.
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