3: Control Your Reactions
Narcissists are masters at triggering emotional chaos. That’s their play. They poke, prod, and push until you explode. And then they stand back and play the victim. It’s a game to them. And every time you react with rage, tears, or desperation, they win. Your reaction gives them power.
It tells them they still have control over their emotions. That’s why the most dangerous thing you can do to a narcissist is to stay calm, grounded, and unbothered. When you control your reactions, you shatter their illusion of dominance. You show them they no longer own space in your mind. They thrive on getting under your skin.
So when you stop giving them the satisfaction, you start driving them crazy. It confuses them. It threatens them because suddenly, they can’t predict you. They can’t manipulate a version of you that’s emotionally regulated. You stop being the puppet, and they lose their strings.
And sure, it’ll take practice. It’s not easy to stay calm when someone’s gaslighting you, attacking your character, or rewriting history. But that’s where your strength lives: in the pause, in the breath, in the moment you choose not to let them pull you down.
They’ll try harder when they realize they’re not getting the emotional explosion they crave. They might escalate, go quiet, love-bomb, or smear your name all to get a rise out of you. But none of it works if you’re rooted in your power. Respond with facts if needed, but don’t engage in the drama.
Don’t argue with someone only interested in winning, not understanding. Their goal isn’t resolution; it’s dominance. And the second you realize that, you stop walking into their traps.
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