Number 5: “You make me a better person.”
At first, this sounds like love. It sounds like hope. It sounds like progress. You want to believe that your presence in their life has redeemed them, that all the effort you have poured in is finally paying off, that they are evolving. But what they mean is they want you to take responsibility for their healing. They want you to become emotionally enslaved to their potential so you never leave. That’s the agenda: so you keep sacrificing, so you keep absorbing the damage and calling it purpose.
They broke themselves; they chose dysfunction. But now they want you to feel like it’s your job to redeem them. Because as long as you feel like you’re their savior, you will never walk away, even when they hurt you, even when they betray you, when they show you they have no intention of truly changing.
You will keep trying to save them from themselves because somewhere along the way, they convinced you that your love has a divine assignment, which is why they called you their soulmate. But you’re not their healer; you are their hostage.
Number 6: “You’re the toxic one. Look how angry you have become, how you react.”
This is when they have pushed you past your limit. This is when you have finally started standing up for yourself, raising your voice, setting boundaries, or expressing the rage that has been suppressed for so long. And instead of taking accountability, they flip the script. They use your reaction to erase their actions. They point to your anger as proof that you are unstable.
They act calm while you fall apart, and then use your explosion to paint themselves as the victim. This lie is pure gaslighting. It is designed to break your sense of self, to make you question your reality. But if they can make you believe you are the problem, then they never have to change, and you will spend months or years trying to prove you are not toxic, trying to be nicer, calmer, more forgiving.
But no matter how composed you become, they will always provoke you again because the goal is not peace. What is the goal? The goal is control. And if your anger threatens that control, they will twist it until you start apologizing for finally defending yourself. That is what it is.
You may also want to read this:
Why Narcissists Humiliate Their Partners in Front of Others?
12 Reasons why going NO CONTACT will drive Narcissists Crazy
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