Tool 1: Anger Redirect Method
When someone tries to use guilt-tripping accusations against you, use the Anger Redirect Method to protect yourself:
- Pause and take a deep breath.
- Consciously choose to feel anger instead of guilt, which can protect you from manipulation.
- Say firmly, “I have the right to take care of my needs.”
This does two things: it asserts your right to self-care and redirects your feelings from guilt to protective anger.
Catchphrase 2: Dismissive and Minimizing Phrases
Have you ever felt upset only to be told that you’re “just being too emotional”? This is the second type of catchphrase you’ll hear from a narcissist: dismissive and minimizing phrases. For example:
- They might say, “Stop being so dramatic,” if you tell them your feelings are hurt.
- They might say, “You’re too sensitive,” if you mention you’re cold, hot, sick, tired, or frustrated.
- After teasing, bullying, or poking fun at your insecurities, they might say, “It was just a joke” or “I was just kidding.”
These phrases decode to the same idea: the narcissist wants you to know that you’re not in charge; they are. You’re not allowed to have a separate self; you’re an extension of the narcissist. Your feelings, emotions, and experiences no longer belong to you.
By invalidating your experience and making you question your reactions, they train you to give them more power and control. They want you to believe you’re unreasonable, so you stop looking at their behavior and take responsibility for any problem.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing Is Caring!
