Catchphrase 7: Projection and Inversion Phrases
Have you ever been scolded with, “Who do you think you are?” as an attempt to belittle or shame you? This is the seventh type of catchphrase you’ll hear from a narcissist: projection and inversion phrases. For example:
- They might say, “You think you’re better than me,” if you stop drinking, start losing weight, sign up for college, or make any attempt to improve your life.
- They might call you a narcissist when you point out their manipulative behavior.
- If you make an effort to fix yourself up or book a much-needed vacation, they might say, “Get off your high horse,” especially on a day when you’re confident enough to ask for something you rightfully deserve.
This manipulation is about projecting their insecurities and narcissistic traits onto you. They can only see the world through their limited perspective and imagine you through their belief systems. They automatically accuse you of the behaviors, beliefs, and motives they have themselves.
They know you’re not like them and don’t want to hurt people, but they use these inverted phrases because they know it’ll hurt you, knock you down a peg, and make you easier to control. This tactic weaponizes your self-worth against you, and it can have lifelong effects. If this has happened to you, I am so, so sorry.
Tool 7: Own Your Worth Method
When someone uses projection and inversion phrases against you, use the Own Your Worth Method to protect yourself:
- Understand that you build self-worth by investing time, energy, or attention in yourself. A narcissist will feel threatened by this because they want all your resources for their narcissistic supply.
- Mentally reframe their attacks and tell yourself, “No one defines my worth but me.”
- By investing in yourself, you make yourself stronger, better, more loving, and more capable, improving the world for yourself and those around you.
Mastering self-worth is a lifelong practice, especially for those harmed by narcissistic relationships.
