Number 3: “Accidental” Encounters.
In an attempt to regain control over a person, narcissists may resort to the tactic of “accidental” encounters. In this strategy, the narcissist meticulously plans to appear in places where they know the victim will be present. The goal is to surprise and evoke an emotional reaction by reminding the victim of their past connection and shared history, destabilizing their feelings. Narcissists are well aware of their victims’ routines and exploit this knowledge to stage these encounters as if they were coincidences.
They may choose locations like a local café, a place of worship, a park where the victim often goes for a walk, or another location that is part of the person’s daily routine. This way, the narcissist ensures that the victim cannot easily avoid the encounter.
These “accidental” encounters are designed to catch the victim off guard and exploit the emotional impact that the mere presence of the narcissist can have. Even if the person is determined to distance themselves or has already ended the relationship, the sudden appearance of the narcissist can rekindle old feelings or confusion.
The narcissist uses these encounters to gauge the victim’s vulnerability and, in many cases, attempt to re-establish some form of connection or relationship. They might use the encounter to demonstrate change or remorse, or simply to remind the victim of the good times all as part of a larger effort to regain influence and control.
The effectiveness of this tactic lies in the narcissist’s ability to provoke an emotional response that shakes the victim, even against their will, and possibly makes them more susceptible to other forms of manipulation. Therefore, these “accidental” encounters are a powerful tool in a narcissist’s arsenal, serving to maintain the cycle of control and abuse.
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