Number 6. Gaslighting.
Is a tactic the narcissist uses to make you believe you don’t remember things the way they actually occurred. They may make you question your reality by saying things like you have a terrible memory, or you’re not remembering that correctly. If you do stick to your guns and don’t allow them to change your reality of how the events actually unfolded, they may change the narrative by acting like they have no clue what you’re talking about by saying things like “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”, or “you’re trying to confuse me”.
Or deflecting and diverting the conversation to another topic to take attention away from the current problem. For instance, you may have caught them at the bar flirting with another man or woman (something they should not do in a relationship.) Instead of addressing, the issue at hand and apologizing they may say “Why were you there you told me you were tired?” Now, instead of the conversation being about them flirting with someone at the bar, it’s an argument about why you went out when you said you retired. Gaslighting is a classic narcissistic tactic.
Number 7. Crazy making.
It’s similar to gaslighting in that both are manipulation tactics that play with your mind. The narcissist presents a convincingly logical-sounding argument that makes absolutely no practical sense. Crazy making is a lose-lose situation because it makes it impossible for the abused to win.
Basically, damned if you do and damned if you don’t. For example, narcissists may say that you never cook for them and that they would much rather eat in and spend so much money out at a restaurant. For the next meal, you decide to take their advice and eat in.
But instead of being happy, they then complain that you didn’t cook what they wanted or they would have preferred that you did this on a different night or any other number of excuses. This will likely start an argument that goes in a circle with no clear path to resolution. Making you feel crazy, confused, and wondering what you could have done differently to make it better.
Number 8. Flying monkeys.
The flying monkey is the person that the narcissist may use to help them do their dirty work. They can help them spread lies about the real victim. The flying monkey can be the person the narcissist turns to complain about how unfairly they are being treated in any number of situations.
The flying monkey will be the one who comes to their defense providing the attention the narcissist needs to make them feel like they are right in any situation. In healthy relationships, differences of opinion are respected. However, narcissists do not like to be disagreed with. The flying monkey is the one the narcissist can depend on to always have their back and agree with them when they’re wrong.
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