3 Things That Make A Narcissist Panic

3 Things That Make A Narcissist Panic

Before you know what makes a narcissist panic, it’s important to understand narcissists’ weaknesses and how they think.

Narcissism is a defense mechanism that a person develops as a result of going through a very unpleasant life experience that destroys their self-esteem and leaves them ashamed of who they are. This mostly happens in childhood; however, an adult can also develop narcissism if they went through such life experiences for a long period of time.

“I’m feeling vulnerable and I actually am, I must appear invulnerable so that nobody will dare to hurt me. I’m worthless I must exaggerate my self-importance.” This is how narcissists think. Of course, this takes place deep in their mind most of them have no idea of what is going on.

You probably found this article because there’s a narcissist in your life that you can’t quite figure out. They always seem to be one step ahead of you, and it doesn’t seem like there’s much you can do about it. You don’t want to get revenge, but you do want to know what if anything makes them panic.

Here are 3 things that can easily make a narcissist panic.

Number 1: Losing control.

One thing that makes a narcissist panic is realizing they’re losing control over someone or something that they previously had under their control. They believe that the world revolves around them and that people around them are put there to serve their needs, feed their egos, listen to their problems, and benefit them in some way.

When people around them finally wizen up to the narcissist’s manipulation tactics and start to take their power back, the narcissist becomes frantic because losing control over people and situations makes them feel powerless. Let me give a couple of examples of how they may realize they’re losing control in different situations. They realize they’re losing control in romantic relationships when they can no longer deceive their partners with their lies and manipulation tactics.

They panic when their partner takes their power back and calls them out for their bad behavior when their partner starts forging their own path and doing things that benefit them, not the narcissist, and when they no longer allow the narcissist to be the puppet master in the relationship. This is one reason why the no-contact rule works so well in ending a relationship with the narcissist.

With no contact, the narcissist can no longer manipulate or control you with their words, gaslighting, or other tactics. They realize they’re losing control at work when they’re moved from or are no longer in a position of power. This makes them panic because being in a position of power gives them control; it feeds their ego. It’s also another way the narcissist garners narcissistic supply, without this constant fuel, they feel empty inside.

They can also panic and feel like they’re losing control at work when they get a new boss who doesn’t view them as special as their previous boss did. They realize they’re losing control and start to panic as their children get older and become more independent. At some point, their children will start forming their own opinions and following their own paths, which will likely be different than the path the narcissist wants them to follow.

Narcissists don’t look at their children as individuals, but instead, they see them as extensions of themselves. Losing this control over their kids will make the narcissist panic because they’ve been a dependable source of supply for them for years and now, are slowly being taken away. This is something they never thought would happen.

Number 2: Losing their primary source of supply.

Another thing that makes a narcissist panic is losing their primary supply before they’ve had the opportunity to secure a dependable replacement. Narcissist uses their charm, bragging, seduction, manipulation, pity, and anything in their power in order to draw people in and to obtain supply from their unsuspecting victims. Also, they are addicted to receiving this admiration and attention because it boosts their weak sense of self and their lack of self-esteem. Being without it is like a drug addict without their drug of choice. The narcissist needs this supply in order to function.

If narcissist loses their narcissistic supplies suddenly, who will be there to listen to their stories? Admire them? stroke their ego? Make them feel special? Not having a supply available to constantly fill up the emptiness they feel inside will definitely make them panic. Sure, they may have some casual supplies lined up, but if you left them unexpectedly and you were their primary supply, they may not have had the chance to secure a really good supply to take your place. This can happen in romantic relationships when their partner finally figures them out and ends a relationship before the narcissist has had a chance to go through their normal cycle of abuse which includes idolization, devaluation, and discard.

In this situation, they may have focused all of their attention on their romantic partner in an attempt to lock them in and set the foundation for the abuse they were about to receive. But maybe this partner has started noticing inconsistencies in their stories, recognized their manipulation for what it was, and decided to break it off. When this happens before the narcissist has had a chance to secure a dependable secondary supply, it can send the narcissist into a panic. You see narcissists try to meticulously plan their life so that this will never happen. They plan their life in a way in which they will never be without supply.

Related: 7 Things That Shock Narcissists To Their Core.

If you break it off unexpectedly and they don’t have a backup plan that is capable of giving them at least the same level of supply or more than you provided, well then expect them to panic. It can cause them to desperately try to hoover their partner back into the relationship, promising them the stars, moon, and sky above. Not because they love them but just because they can buy enough time to secure the proper replacement. But if for some reason they’re unsuccessful in their conquest to reconnect with the initial supply, they’ll reach out to an old supply that’s been reliable for them in the past, desperately trying to get some attention, admiration, and affection from anywhere they can find it.

A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.

This can be seen in a friendship when the narcissist loses their primary supply because their friend finally gets tired of their lies, silent treatment, and triangulation, and decide to suddenly cut off the friendship. You see friends of narcissists are frequently discarded when they stop serving the narcissist’s needs, but when the roles are reversed and the friend cuts them off first, the narcissists will panic.

This panic will lead them to reach out to friends they haven’t spoken to in weeks, months, or even years in attempts to desperately try to replenish the supply they so badly need. They can lose this primary supply at work, in social groups, political groups, homeowner association committees, and even at church. Anywhere where the narcissist was seen as a leader and was garnering the attention of a group of people.

If this attention is suddenly removed and the narcissist is left without any means to garner this level of attention again, (or not immediately anyway). This will cause the narcissist to panic, trying desperately to hold on to their position of power or regain a new position of power as quickly as possible.

Number 3: Being exposed.

The last thing that we’ll discuss that will make a narcissist panic, and this is a big one, is their fear of being exposed. A narcissist has learned how to use their false self in order to manipulate people into getting exactly what they want and needs from them. But everyone is either not fooled or eventually catches on to what’s really happening. If they’re called out or exposed for who they really are and their true intentions, this will make the narcissist panic. Depending on the nature of the reveal, it can even cause the narcissist to sustain a narcissistic injury, and later experience narcissistic rage.

A narcissistic injury is the feeling that occurs when the narcissist experiences criticism, humiliation, or rejection. Normal people with normal emotions may be able to express their vulnerability and how certain comments may have made them feel. The narcissist, however, will react with defiance, arguments, gaslighting, more manipulation, or maybe even physical violence. This reaction is considered narcissistic rage. We can see the panic of their true self being exposed in romantic relationships when their partner has realized the narcissist has been having an affair and has all the proof to uncover them for what they really are.

Read More: 9 Behaviors of Wives Who Are Abused By Narcissist Husbands.

In these cases, it doesn’t bother the narcissist that they’ve hurt their partner’s feelings. No, they’ll be more panicked by the fact that their partner may now take away their supply or even worse yet tell other people about their infidelity which can in turn ruin the “good guy” or “good girl” image they’ve been trying so desperately to uphold.

This exposure can happen in friendships when the friends realize the narcissist is not a true friend and has been talking behind their back. This will panic the narcissist once their true intentions are exposed because not only will it prevent the narcissist from getting whatever benefit they were getting from their friend. But the real damage happens when this friend tells their other mutual friends what is transpired between them and the narcissist.

Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.

The narcissists will panic when they’re all together and realize the lies, inconsistency, and drama they narcissist has been keeping up amongst this group of friends behind their backs. This panic from exposure can be seen at the workplace when a co-worker realizes the narcissist has been preventing them from getting a promotion.

In these cases, the narcissist may come across as extremely friendly and act like they really have their co-worker’s best interest at heart. Yet, they are secretly communicating to the powers that be that their co-worker is not the right person for promotion. If the co-worker or manager realizes that the narcissist has not been true to their intentions and instead has been acting out of envy and jealousy. This will panic the narcissist because it will spoil the positive light they were once viewed in and reveal the real person they try so hard to keep hidden from the world.

These are the top three things that will make a narcissist panic, but these are not the only things. Anything that prevents a narcissist from carrying out their plan of manipulation or deceit has the potential of making them panic so keep your heart guarded and your head clear. Now that you understand some of the ways that you can use to beat them at their own game, you have to continue to move forward and continue to educate yourself about narcissism. This will not only help you heal but it will help you see the warning signs and other relationships moving forward.

Read More: 10 Signs That A Narcissist Is Stalking You

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