Today’s topic is about what you can do to start distancing yourself from a Narcissist that you cannot get away from just yet. Because Narcissistic Relationships are very toxic. They are emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. As a result, there is a lot of talk about going no contact, ignoring the Narcissist, or grey rocking the Narcissist.
But in many cases, these things cannot just be done overnight. In many cases, it is a process. For example, if someone is married to a narcissist and decides to get a divorce, it takes time. Or it might be the case that the person is financially dependent on the Narcissist, and they need time to work on that first. Or it is a narcissistic boss or colleague, for some people, it is not possible to just quit their jobs or up and leave within a moment’s notice and they surely cannot be ignoring their boss. Or for some people, it may be a Narcissistic Parent or family member that they don’t want to cut off completely.
So, there has to be a way to safeguard yourself while you are preparing to exit from a Narcissistic Relationship or if you are planning to change the dynamics of that relationship through Grey Rocking, etc. Basically, before you are able to create a physical distance between you and the Narcissist or before you close or minimize the different avenues of communication, there are some things you can do in the meantime.
Clearly, if you are at this point, you have recognized that someone is no good for you. They are either a Narcissist, emotionally abusive, controlling, manipulative, or just toxic. But it is clear that something needs to change. It is clear that you either need to get away from this person or set some boundaries.
The Importance of Being Emotionally Detached.
So, what you can do to start distancing yourself is create an emotional distance where nothing this person says or does affects your state of being. And that can be done by accepting that this person (you are wanting to get away from) is toxic and they do not have your best interest at heart. They do not care about you or your happiness. You are two separate people, with 2 separate agendas going down 2 different paths. What you want for your life is not what they want for you.
Therefore, there needs to be a mental or emotional separation first. Because this person is not the loving partner you hoped they would be. Or they are not the friend, team player, or caring parent you thought they were. Once you accept that then it would be easier for you to do the following things which will aid in the process of when you eventually separate from the Narcissist or start ignoring or grey rocking the Narcissist.
Number 1: Do not share any personal information.
Now that you have accepted that this person is not good for you, they definitely should not know your business. You don’t talk to them about anything that matters to you. You don’t disclose your plans, you don’t tell them about your struggles. You don’t tell them when good things happen, or bad things happen. You start shutting them out of your life by withholding pertinent information about yourself. Keep things very general or very vague.
Another way to counteract any questions they send your way, after giving a very basic closed-answer reply, is by asking them questions about themselves and what they are up to. Narcissists usually like talking about themselves so it is a way to take the focus off of you and what you are up to. Let them think that you are more interested in their life as your life is boring and that you are not up to much because the less the Narcissist knows the better.
Number 2: Avoid spending time with them.
Minimize the amount of time that you spend in their company. If you don’t have to be at the same event, don’t. If you don’t have to be in the same room, don’t. You have to basically be more aware of who you surround yourself with. The Narcissist and friends of the Narcissist are not a good choice.
As I have said many times before; when you decide to cut off a Narcissist you end up having to cut off so much more. So, you may have to distance yourself from a lot of people and end up looking to create new relationships from scratch. It’s one of the major losses when it comes to ending a Narcissistic Relationship.
Number 3: Focus on your interests that don’t involve the narcissist.
The third thing you can do to start distancing yourself from the Narcissist is to start a hobby that doesn’t involve the Narcissist. It can even be something that the Narcissist has no interest in but something you have always wanted to do. Getting deep into a new hobby can allow you some relief. It gives you time away from the Narcissist.
It’s time to do something that you would enjoy. And depending on the hobby it can open doors to new relationships, newfound confidence, and boost your self-esteem. And it just puts you in a better place mentally. You are giving yourself a taste of life without the Narcissist being involved. And of course, the less the Narcissist knows about your new hobby the better. You don’t want their grubby hands touching any new ventures that you are working on.
So these are my recommendations as to what you can do to start distancing yourself while preparing to end a Narcissistic Relationship. You definitely should not keep things the same as you will only be making yourself more vulnerable to the Narcissist’s manipulation and providing them with more ammunition to hurt you. You need to start creating a new life for yourself away from the Narcissist, and you can start doing it right away so that when you go Zero Contact, or start ignoring them or grey rocking them, you already would have some new habits and routines in place and even new relationships that the Narcissist is not a part of.
Read More: 3 Things That Make A Narcissist Panic
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