Why Narcissists Refuse to Back Down – And What They Do To Punish You


Today’s topic is about the passive-aggressive Nature of Covert Narcissists and how and why they choose to resort to this type of behavior. Passive aggression is something that can be used by anyone. It is not limited to Narcissists. But it is how many Covert Narcissists fight back when they feel under attack or slighted in some way.

They basically find indirect ways to express their anger or irritation. Passive aggressive behaviors can be manifested in different ways and the Narcissist can use them both inside and outside of their safe zone. But when it comes to dealing with outsiders the passive-aggressive route is usually best as the Narcissist would prefer it if the other person does not suspect their malice but instead views them as harmless.

And this is one of the reasons why Covert Narcissists are so dangerous because they hold on to grudges forever while pretending that they don’t. But they are always looking for opportunities to take revenge again and again for any perceived offense. And when someone is as petty and insecure as Narcissists are it is not difficult to offend them.

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And they will not pardon you. Instead, they turn to passive-aggressive behaviors such as their silent treatments, inaction, ghosting, back-handed compliments, procrastination, and more. But what you will realize is that they prefer to look for sneaky ways to punish people. They foolishly choose to hold on to negativity than honestly talk things out or let go.

They would be tense, silent, or abrupt with you instead of saying what is on their mind. And if you approach them directly to find out if anything is wrong, they would insist that they are ok or that there are no issues or hard feelings.

And even if you do pinpoint and tell them exactly what it is that may have caused the change in them, they would deny it or say that it was so long ago. Or that they’ve already forgotten about it, or just don’t care about it, when actually that is the very reason why they have this negative attitude towards you.

But all you will get are excuses; they usually do not want to admit that they are still holding on to a past offense. When you confront a Narcissist about these passive-aggressive behaviors it alerts them to how they are being perceived and they are likely to adjust so that you won’t be able to use it against them. Their goal to punish you hasn’t changed just their tactics.

So, they would make an effort to warm up to you and convince you that they are ok with you, but they are not. Narcissists are cowards. They would prefer to plot and scheme and slander someone than just go to them and let them know that they have offended them.

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They would prefer to tell everyone else about the perceived offense instead of the very person that caused the offense. Anything that would allow them to play the victim and make someone else look bad will always be the course of action for them to choose. But aside from that, Narcissists just prefer to hold on to grudges. They prefer to keep issues unresolved and hold on to assumptions.

They prefer to pretend as if they are ok. And they prefer to pretend as though they are forgiving, light-hearted individuals when in actuality they are filled with so much negativity and tension. Covert Narcissists are two-faced liars. They are hypocrites and cowards who live in fear of being exposed.

To protect their false image and stay in the good graces of outsiders they prefer not to address or confront the people directly who have offended them. They would prefer to continue smiling in their face while they look for different ways to stab them in the back.

There is no fun in making up and moving on. The Narcissist wants someone to suffer. So, they do not forgive or forget and will always be seeking their own personal revenge. This is why all Narcissistic Relationships are fruitless and filled with confusion, pain, and misery.


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At the end of the day, Narcissists are driven to crave what is dark and negative. Chaos and confusion are always with them. We protect ourselves by keeping our distance and asking no favors of them. That is the only way to escape the insanity and manipulations of a Narcissist.

But to wrap this up Covert Narcissists are not likely to express their displeasure or disappointments in a healthy way. And even if you do manage to get them to talk about it that will not be the end of it. Despite any apologies, the Narcissist will still be looking for revenge. And they will choose to resort to their passive-aggressive behaviors to do this.

Read More: How Do Narcissists React When You Are Silent?

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