The breakup is over, and you are feeling great. You’ve got yourself back, feeling more confident than ever and it’s safe to say that this breakup was precisely what you needed to get your life on track. However, there are things that narcissists tend to do after breaking up with someone. This is because they need attention and validation from somewhere, even if they might get it from their exes.
So, here are 10 things a narcissist wants with you after a breakup.
Number 1: Narcissists want you to be sad and devastated.
They want you to feel like you’ve lost your best friend and everything else. In reality, they don’t care about you at all; they just want the attention that comes from being able to manipulate someone who cares about them into feeling so bad.
And they love it when they can make someone else feels worthless, so they will try to make you feel like that after the breakup. They are known for not caring about how their actions affect other people. Still, they do care about how their actions affect them.
Narcissists want to see you in pain because it makes them feel better about themselves. They thrive on making other people feel bad, they’ll settle for your tears if they can’t have your love.
Number 2: They want you to feel like a failure.
A narcissist will make sure that you feel like a failure, even though they’re the ones who broke up with you. This is because they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and want to ensure that you never get over them.
Narcissists will often tell their exes that they were never good enough for them and that no one else will ever want them. They will tell you that they were always bored with you, and wanted to be with someone else. Whatever, it takes to make you feel like less than what they think of themselves.
Narcissists love to make their Partners feel like they’re the cause of all their problems, and that the narcissist is just a helpless victim. This way, the narcissist can keep people around them who are essentially in a codependent relationship where they can take care of the narcissist’s needs.
Number 3: Narcissists want you to beg them back into your life.
They are addicted to power and control, they thrive on the feeling of being desired and the idea that they can have anything they want. When you break up with a narcissist, they become obsessed with getting you back.
They will spend every moment trying to convince you that your life without them is meaningless. And that you need them more than anything else. They still love it when you beg them to take you back after a breakup because it gives them power.
And they thrive on the feeling of having control over you and your emotions- it’s part of this sick game. The more you feel like they hold the keys to your happiness, the more they get off on it.
Number 4: Narcissists want you to know that you are the reason for the breakup.
After a breakup, most people are eager to hear why their partner loves them. They are no different; they want you to know that your behavior was the reason for the breakup. Narcissists believe if you had done something differently, you wouldn’t have had to break up.
And suppose they can convince you that this is true, in that case, narcissists don’t have to take responsibility for how they treated you during your relationship. Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they will blame anyone else for their issues in their romantic relationships.
The narcissists will try to make you feel guilty and ashamed; they will try to make you feel like it was your fault and that things would have worked out if it weren’t for you. They will play the victim, saying they were too good for you or couldn’t help themselves from hurting you.
Number 5: Narcissists want you to know that they are doing better without you.
They often tell their ex-partner how much better their life is without them. They may even go as far as to say that the relationship was doomed from the start. And that they knew all along they would end badly. But they did it anyway because they were in love.
Narcissists want to make sure that you’re suffering as much as possible. If they can’t do it physically, they’ll do it emotionally. They want to make sure that their exes know how much happier they are without them. So, they’ll brag about how great their life is and how much better off they are now that you are out of the picture.
Number 6: Narcissists want you to be jealous of your new partner.
They are generally very insecure and want everyone to know that they’ve moved on from their ex. If they know you’re not over them and still care about them, they will often bring their new partner up to rub it in your face.
Narcissists want you to be jealous of their new partner. This is because they want your attention, and if you’re jealous, you’re thinking about them. They will make sure that they have a new person in their lives who is attractive and exciting.
And they want you to feel like they’re out there having the time of their life, while you’re still stuck in the past. They want you to think they’ve moved on, while you still dwell on what happened between you.
Number 7: Narcissists want you to think they’ve changed.
They are usually great at telling people what they want to hear. So, it’s no surprise that they’ll try to convince you that they’ve changed after a breakup. Narcissists don’t change though; they just change their tactics.
They will say anything to get back into your good graces and use you again. Narcissists might say they miss you or tell you how sorry they are for hurting you, but it’s all lies. In reality, they have no remorse and don’t care about anyone but themselves.
They are just trying to make you feel more comfortable with them so that you will let your guard down and trust them again. Their goal is to get back into your life and manipulate you even more than they did before.
Number 8: Narcissists want to prove to you they will write all along.
After a breakup, they will try to show you that you were wrong for leaving them. And if they can’t do that, they’ll try to make you feel guilty for wanting out of their relationship in the first place.
Narcissists see things as black and white, either someone is with them or against them, and there’s no gray area. They will try to get you back by saying things like See, “I knew we were meant to be together”. This happens when you let your pride get in the way of love.
They will do anything to manipulate you into believing that they’re right and that their behavior was justified. They make it seem like they only want what’s best for their relationship, or because it was all your fault anyway.
Number 9: Narcissists want to feel better than you.
They will do everything they can to ensure that they’re feeling better than you after a breakup. They will try to act like it doesn’t matter if they’ve moved on, and like you were never anything more than an extra in their ground life story.
Narcissists need to feel superior to others to maintain their self-worth and self-esteem. If they aren’t, then they feel like they’re not worth anything at all. That’s why they’re so competitive and always have to be the best at everything they do. They are never happy unless they’re on top of the world.
And they want to be better than everyone around them, they want you to see them as superior to you in every way more attractive, more accomplished, more intelligent, and more enjoyable. After a breakup, narcissists want to feel like they are winning again.
Number 10: Narcissists want to get revenge on you.
After the breakup, they want to make you feel as bad as they do, so they’ll do anything to make you feel like you’re the cause of their pain. Narcissists want to hurt you because that’s how they get their power back; they’ve also probably been planning ways to ensure you never forget them.
They may want to do revenge by making you feel guilty or by making you look bad in front of other people. And may also try to make you look bad by spreading rumors about you or telling lies about what happened between you. A narcissist first wants to make you feel like you’re the wrong one after a breakup; they will blame you for their problems and say you are the reason for it.
They will make you feel bad about yourself so that you can feel better about yourself. Also, they will pretend they didn’t do anything wrong even if they did. Narcissists will tell you that they were the best thing that happened in your life, which isn’t true because they never really cared about you.
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