In today’s topic, we will be getting to the bottom of what narcissist wants from you, especially when you’re not with them, or after you break up with them. First, we want to emphasize to you how important it is- to emotionally detach ourselves from a narcissist for the rest of our lives.
People need to understand how important this is because narcissists can stop us from moving on even when they aren’t with us anymore. There are two things that can keep you connected to a narcissist even if you’ve done everything you can and don’t talk to them, or barely have any contact with them.
It doesn’t matter how you got rid of the narcissist, or how they got rid of you. One sure thing is, as long as they’re still a narcissist, you may never be truly safe. There are three things that could happen after you’re done with a narcissist.
First, some people might get right back up and keep living, they’re strong enough to accept the truth, and immediately move on with their life and goals. Secondly, there are people who have to work a little harder to get out of their mental and emotional chains.
“I’m talking to people who still love the narcissist even though they’ve been hurt by them.” The third type is people who are filled with anger and resentment because they don’t like narcissists.
Maybe they have had cheated on, humiliated, or even destroyed by the narcissist. This article will focus on the last two groups because they’re still connected to the narcissist in some way, and the longer it takes the more dangerous it becomes.
Narcissists are known for how emotionally invested and dedicated there to their victims, and these two categories are proofs that narcissists can still ruin our lives even after we’re not with them.
The good thing is that we can still figure out what’s wrong. Remember that as long as you care about the narcissist emotionally, whether it’s love or hate you’re still at risk. I can even say that you’re still indirectly under their influence.
Number 1: Let’s start with the love part.
Some people do still fall in love with narcissists, even after everything they’ve been through. Still, there is a hope or desire that the narcissist will come back- show up, or even pick them up again. Some people would rather be sucked up by the narcissist because they’re in a trauma bond.
After all, not every time you talk to the narcissist is bad, and you may keep thinking about the good parts. During the love bombing phase, they did treat us like we were important and loved. People find it hard to believe that in just a few months someone can go from being their dream partner to their worst nightmare.
People still think very hard trying to figure out what’s so wrong with them, that the narcissist ended up treating them like that. While in reality, there’s nothing wrong with them, they are just caught up in the narcissist’s endless trap. If you’re in this situation, I want to tell you that you need to change- how you think about the narcissist and that change must start with acceptance.
Accepting that they’re not who they say they are, is the first thing to realize. You have to admit that you have a problem here, which is the same for trauma bones as it is for any other problem. Those of us, who still want the narcissist even though we know they’re a bad influence, may have a trauma attachment and we need to get rid of it.
To avoid rationalizing or denying the narcissist’s bad behavior, it’s a good idea to write down or keep a journal of all the bad things he or she has done or said to you and how they made you feel. You can look at it when you start missing the narcissist, which will be helpful. You may also want to talk to a professional about what happened, how it hurt, and how you feel betrayed.
Many people can find comfort and even peace in this. Don’t forget to take time for yourself. Do the things you enjoy and think about the people to make you happy while you’re going through the motions.
This method will make it easier for you to get your confidence back, and stay away from the narcissist. As a way to love and improve yourself, it’s a good idea to keep a notebook in which you only write nice things about yourself- your loved ones and your dreams.
Number 2: Why people would hate narcissists so much that they can’t let them go?
We have to realize that holding a grudge against a narcissist is much worse for our own health than it is for that person. If you’re worried or concerned about what or how the narcissist will do next, you might feel tense or even paranoid. All the stress and negative energy you’re exposed to every day could hurt your nervous system, and make you unable to do a thing.
To put it simply, it makes you sick on the inside and outside. There isn’t much difference between love and hate, so the feeling is pretty much the same. When you hate them so much, it’s the same as you love them, because you’ll invest your attention and emotion in the narcissist, which gives them enough supplies for amusement.
After taking everything from us, the narcissist doesn’t really need our time, energy, or emotions anymore. They want to fill your mind and heart with their own thoughts and feelings. But if you keep directing your emotions toward them, they’d be getting a free meal this way. We should try to get to the point where we know everything about them, and no longer care about them.
We need to get to the point where they don’t affect us anymore. Even though we have to deal with them every day, we no longer care about them. It’s important to remember that narcissists can be hard on your emotions. Remember that we need to become emotionally detached if we want to get out of the narcissist script. There is neither love nor hate here, there is only indifference as always.
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