In today’s topic, we are talking about Silence but from the Narcissist’s point of view and what they are trying to accomplish with their Silence. There is a difference between the Narcissist’s Silent Treatment and when their victims go Silent. It all comes down to motives or the end goal. What is the Narcissist trying to accomplish?
Once you understand that you will realize there is no comparison between the Narcissist’s Silent Treatment and when their victims go silent. Because when a Narcissist goes silent someone is in trouble. Their Silence is not about enjoying some quiet time and meditating on the good things in life. No.
They are usually planning their next move. A move that they hope will hurt someone or break someone. Silent Treatments are a defense mechanism used by Narcissists to essentially protect their fragile egos. Narcissists are very petty and insecure, so it doesn’t take much for them to use a Silent Treatment against you.
Number 1: Convey their utter contempt for you.
If you have offended the Narcissist by criticizing them, challenging them, or disobeying them, you have become public enemy number 1. And the Narcissist will make it clear through their silence and negative energy that they hate you.
They may not speak to you, but you may manage to catch some of the evil looks they give you, and the facial expressions that should leave no doubt that you have angered them and that they hate you for it.
Therefore, when they are silent, they are trying to figure out a way to get back at you. Just be aware that when the silence has ended, although they may come back smiling like nothing ever happened; the war is on. They have formulated a plot to destroy you. So, you need to watch your back, never trust them and keep your distance.
Number 2: Attract Concern.
They love attention, and if they don’t feel like they are getting enough attention from you, they will go silent, even ignoring you or blocking you hoping that you chase them. So, in this instance, the Narcissist just wants more from you and they are hoping by going silent you will become concerned about them and give them the attention they desire.
Another example is when the Narcissist may be at some sort of gathering where quite a few people are and they would just sulk and keep to themselves; which is sure to draw attention. The aim is that they become the focus of attention, and everyone rallies around to cheer them up.
Number 3: Cause anguish.
Anguish is defined as extreme unhappiness caused by physical or mental suffering. When it comes to Narcissists and the silent treatment this anguish is for your mental destruction. Narcissists are sadistic and they enjoy seeing or just knowing that they are making someone suffer.
So, in this case, once again it is not about offending the Narcissist. This is the Narcissist just wanting you to suffer. And they will keep it up until you come crawling, begging them to reconcile. It is a major ego boost for the Narcissist knowing they can make someone suffer just by being silent. It is a sign of their control over that person.
So, whenever they are bored, your suffering will be their entertainment. The Narcissist knows the mental assault that they are putting you through. The many questions running through your head. What happened? What did I do wrong? And what did I say? Why are they not talking to me? What can I do to cheer them up? Am I not good enough? Are they cheating on me? And so forth and so forth.
The Silent Treatment can be very destructive to one’s self-worth and identity especially, when the Narcissist is giving the impression, you did something wrong when you didn’t. But this is done to crush your confidence and make you feel worthless.
And the icing on the cake is that the Narcissist would prefer that you suffer in Silence. So, no confiding in anyone about what happens between the both of you. Otherwise, the Narcissist will deem it an act of treason. They see it as an utter betrayal if you try to talk about how they punish you or make you suffer.
You are expected to bear the abuse silently. And many of us have been there, especially when we were still hoping to make the relationship work or hoping things will get better. We may have remained loyal and suffered silently so that we do not ruin the hopes of the relationship getting better.
But that is exactly how the Narcissist gets away with their abuse. When it is insidious abuse, it is hard to put it into words. It is hard to get people to understand how debilitating and traumatic it is. And the silent treatment is one of those things.
But to conclude, these are some of the things Narcissists are usually trying to accomplish with their silent treatments. They are scheming to get more attention, break us down or obliterate some of us. Nothing good comes out of their silent treatments.
But their silent treatments are only effective when there is an emotional tie. This is why we need to break any emotional ties we have and free ourselves from the control and manipulations of the Narcissist.
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